BEGONE, JUPITER

Pitting irreverence against despair

Now is the time when I must pay homage to the legend of a UPS man, a beautiful young dreadlocked cat who came to my house to deliver a box of books. I was living in a four story brownstone at the time, and two of my gorgeous assistants were running around on the second floor, where I asked him to carry the box.

“Damn,” he said, once upstairs. “This just like the house of ladies,” he said.

There was a blowup sex doll at the top of the stairs who had been the cover model for my first book. He appraised her with interest.

“I apologize for the blowup sex doll,” I said. He turned suddenly soft and vulnerable.

“You shouldn’t call her that,” he said gently. “She’s just a woman who got no feelings.”

Instant legend. UPS man, wherever you are…(black power salute). You only become dearer to me with time.

It has been a very interesting 6 mo…