18 Comments
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Chris Norris's avatar

The addendum scene with Linda Perry kind of makes this, as a piece of writing. (I hope this doesn’t sound insensitive; I remember this and it was very, very sad: of course I’m sorry for your loss.) The exchange is ambivalent, redemptive, powerful. Very LP too. Thanks for it.

Beth Custer's avatar

Heartbreaking...love ya Cintra

Kathleen Kiddo's avatar

Thank you.

Diabolikal Follikles's avatar

“There are moments when you feel so good with somebody that you miss them when they’re right in front of you.” I had a love like that Sis and for a time: we saddled and rode the highest cloud. During their entire lifetime, many NEVER experience that sensation. “If you don’t speak of the loved-ones you’ve lost, they die twice. ~ Unknown. 🌌

Cintra Wilson's avatar

Love you sis

ItsBlosseyBitch's avatar

I first read this piece ten years ago, when I was starting to get into Kevin’s music, and still come back to re-read it every so often. Such a beautifully written piece!

Cintra Wilson's avatar

Aww thank you. He inspired it.

Wes Eichenwald's avatar

As a remarried widower, I know what it's like to lose someone who helps you define yourself so much. I also know that love is infinitely expandable and it's not a betrayal to fall in love with someone else, and heal. Writing also helped me get through a dark time (it will be 10 years in January). Much sympathetic thoughts to you, Cintra.

Tom Ridout's avatar

Wow, that hit hard. It brought a tear to my eye. A beautiful piece of writing. Thanks for posting that.

jonathan bassil's avatar

The most exciting concert I ever saw was a free show by Toy Matinee at New George’s in San Rafael. I don’t remember who told me about it but I watched Kevin lead his crackerjack band, (with Sheryl Crow on keys I think), into one magnificent song after another. The encore was Funeral for a Friend, leaving me exultant. I delved into his music after that, and was saddened to hear of his untimely passing. Thank you for your writing, and I’m sorry for your loss, but you did have something very special with him. JB.

appleton king's avatar

look forward to hearing his music a sort of duet to your words

apdarrow's avatar

Crying 🖤

Steve Kirk's avatar

I am really touched by this, Cintra.

ShirtlessCaptainKirk's avatar

I’ll never get tired of reading this. It’s like the courtship of gods, something to which I’ll never measure up. The closest association is stories I’ve read about the death of a twin, like half of you is gone. It’s good to hear Kevin wasn’t just a monster musician, that, at least with you, he was a monster human being.

David Greenberg's avatar

Cintra,

I remember how happy you were when you met Kevin - you gushed about it in your column.

This would be about a year after I hung with you backstage at The Magic - remember? After your 1994 one - woman autobiographical solo performance? I have 📸 photos.

I have lost people - my mother, my father, both grandparents, my maternal aunt, as well as a wild girlfriend and two sensitive best friends.

Do you think you would have had kids from Kevin had he soldiered on in this mortal coil?

I met Sasha summer 1995 at livingjazz.org .

I was playing bass. Sasha told me her last name is Wilson, so I asked her if she's your sister. I wonder if she remembers that.

Thank you for sharing your pain. Cintra Wilson feels your pain.

How are your writing workshops going? Unfortunately, I gotta toil away.

" no recess!! " - Nirvana featuring Kurt Cobain

Benjamin Adler's avatar

Goodness Gracious indeed.

Sam Ray's avatar

💜 to Cintra

Peter Schluederberg's avatar

Thanks for sharing. Wonderful, heartfelt piece. I enjoyed pulling out my Toy Matinee CD and immersing myself again after an inexcusable absence. Such a special talent. I will become familiar with Kevin's solo work. Best to you.