32 Comments
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Sam Ray's avatar

My understanding of the best way for children of narcissists to heal & find love is with other loving children of narcissists. Of course, the struggle is being sure that the other isn't lying.

Cintra Wilson's avatar

That is so insightful, thank you!!!

Sam Ray's avatar

Always welcome!

apdarrow's avatar

Likewise, children of drunks.

Sam Ray's avatar

CNI has explored a narcissist's personality vs. an alcoholic's personality.

https://samray.substack.com/p/a-narcissists-personality-vs-an-alcoholics

Rosie Whinray's avatar

There's some truth to this

MonalisaSmile's avatar

You are like Holly Golightly, "But I guess, of course, I don't really know anybody but rats."

Super rats, rats, and scared little mice men. You can do better, Cintra. I know you can break the cycle.

Cintra Wilson's avatar

Sister Lady, I sure hope I can.

Michelle L's avatar

I love how you are turning this lead into pure gold! You are truly an alchemist! Thank you!!!

Bo Bres's avatar

Let it out, get it out, and move on. You are a star.

Cintra Wilson's avatar

It's out.

Mary Ann's avatar

Great post! Hope you find someone you can sing and giggle with.

Cintra Wilson's avatar

That is totally the goal.

lou J's avatar

You’re bringing out the rescuer in me. But, as there’s nothing I can do from here, I will say I’m pretty sure I love your tattoo, definitely love the image and association with ink-spraying cuttlefish, will boast that I’m developing a relationship with an actual octopus, and appreciate your description of narcissistic behavior to double down on efforts to never do that to anyone, and mostly to hope things get better for you. Soon. And for long term.

Cintra Wilson's avatar

That is just adorably sweet and whomever is in your corner is lucky, boy.

lou J's avatar

Well, you just made me smile. I want to add this: awhile back I went on a ten mile walk to practice a memorial speech for a famous artist who had died, wanting to highlight his instinct to always chase joy, never let his feelings detract from another’s happiness. After nearly three hours of this meditation, I saw a TeslaNazi wagon down the hill from me, instinctively yelled fuck! To nobody particular, then aimed to walk behind it to go where I was going. Just as I took a step forward to do so, he zoomed backward quickly, almost hitting me with that horrendous pointy backend and yelled, “you got a problem?” I don’t remember what I said but it was distinctly unsatisfying. I have since spent far too many hours practicing lines for such an occasion, have lost too much sleep, waking in a fret from some Tesla-truck encounter.

Thankfully we no longer have any more parked near us.

Stay well. Well as you can. And don’t let the nasties rule your brain.

Cintra Wilson's avatar

I just had an elaborate fantasy about cussing that guy out. i’m dynamite at spontaneous verbal abuse.

lou J's avatar

I definitely know that based on the books of yours I’ve read. Woulda loved to watch you in action, truly.

Cintra Wilson's avatar

I am made for such moments. I’ve never had a moment of esprit d’escalier.

lou J's avatar

I DO envy that. I get some zingers. But they die in the air when nobody’s there to hear.

Cintra Wilson's avatar

I wish i had been with you. I’d have given him such an earful.

Xine's avatar

Wow. It’s like you were screaming my life right into my face. I can’t stop.

Cintra Wilson's avatar

I'm so sorry

AleChic's avatar

Cintra I totally feel your pain but I want to let you know there is hope at the end of the male fuckery tunnel: menopause. The absolute beauty of menopause is you get your brain space back. I know it's not just me, I have many female friends who felt the same brain liberation I have since dudes have slow faded into the background along with my sex drive. The overall effect is you DON'T overlook that gut tightening nausea when you know the Mr. Man needs to get tossed but then you double back on yourself thinking, "oh man I'm just being too hard on him, what's MY problem?? That shit is WAY OVER. Be strong and hang tight, relief is in your future.

Mark Johnson's avatar

Thank you! This is the checklist of all checklists for sussing out the narcissist. Show your tattoo at every possible opportunity and bask, baby, bask!! 🔥❤️🏓

Mama K.'s avatar

FINISH HIM!!!!

Holly Starley's avatar

Betrayal Trauma Theory!! Holy shit can I relate to the instant forgetting of offenses.

To breaking cycles!

allogenes88@gmail.com's avatar

I feel your pain, Cintra, and I hope you will find a good man real soon, who is worthy of you and not a narcissist, and will provide the love and pleasure you deserve.

P.S. I hope you're not attracted to Donald Trump (just kidding).

Christine D'Arrigo (once Mary)'s avatar

Every word. Except I didn't have a clue until after I left my narcissist husband after 25 years. Would love to see your tattoo...

karen rom's avatar

Gotcha...Oh, it's bad. and so WRONG. Achey breaky heart. xo,Girl.

karen rom's avatar

gotcha. oh, it's bad. and WRONG. xo, girl.

karen rom's avatar

gotcha. oh, it's bad. and WRONG. xo, girl.