19 Comments
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Aito's avatar

Absolutely brilliant...haven't laughed out loud while reading something in too long; this made me laugh my ass off. Thank you.

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Cintra Wilson's avatar

Hooray!!

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Ziggyd's avatar

Nothing cuts to the truth like on point humor. Cintra, one of your best! Demi, if you’re reading this, hey, it was the 90’s and you were on your own. But today there’s a support group for just about everything. DM us @cementmixersunion.com. - Local 1346, Urbandale, IA

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Cintra Wilson's avatar

Demi would make a good cement mixer. She has that actorly gravitas.

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Dr Herbert West PHD's avatar

Hysterical and on point, Demi is shameless, and you’ve struck a major chord. This piece made me shit myself. The back handed analysis and observation in relation to the common man child is staggering. Hilarious. Thanks.

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Cintra Wilson's avatar

Thank you, Dr. West, for your kind analysis.

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Paul d'Orléans's avatar

Adorbs the orbs...Poverty and Ignorance, actually lmfao. Have you invented tit-crit-lit?

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Cintra Wilson's avatar

God, I hope not.

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Paul d'Orléans's avatar

Too late! ;)

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Chris Norris's avatar

Silly, maybe, but this *really* plays to your strengths in critical writing around fashion, film, body, and pop-culture, plus adds a goodnatured corrective to male film critics' jibes at the...well, low-hanging-fruit isn't right, but you know. I tried out some alt. bicameral nicknames—truth/consequence, sense/sensibility, some inversion of Romulus/Remus—but I give: Poverty and Ignorance is unimprovable. Brilliant work.

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Cintra Wilson's avatar

Aww Chris Norris, you always say the nicest things.

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H. C. Burlingame's avatar

Was Thomas Pynchon the milkman?

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Cintra Wilson's avatar

The milkmaid, the way we dressed him.

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Rainydaypuppets's avatar

Is this going to be a series on her tits? Please !

There have been so many (t) iterations.

You nailed this hilariously…

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Cintra Wilson's avatar

I think I covered Demi's tits pretty exhaustively in this one. If she gets NEW tits, we're on.

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Courtney Daniels's avatar

“Demispheres”! The “overhauls” did always seem epic, and yes—bionic! The images of her from Charlie’s Angels are still incredible to me. I understand the urge and effort to stay attractive, given that women are made to feel its our only value (aside from doing emotional, clerical, and household shitwork). I remember reading about her intention to get fitter/look better with each pregnancy. I was like, wha—? I also remember disbelieving a person could spend six figures on cosmetic surgery. Now I understand how that’s possible.

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Cintra Wilson's avatar

Anything is possible with millions of dollars and no self-esteem!

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Courtney Daniels's avatar

THAT'S THE TRUTH

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Jonathan Kieran's avatar

On. the. floor. “… fouled by niblets …”

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