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Regrets Only's avatar

Love the very punked-out Madonna & Child painting.

Since this was originally written in 1997, I'm desperate to know how many of those kids, now in their mid twenties, have been in rehab.

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Mitch Story's avatar

This is so funny and wise. Thank you!

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Teófilo de Jesús's avatar

Grandkids are God’s reward to me for not having killed my kids. Of the former I have 5, of the latter, 2.

Be self-centered. Have a kid if you still can, ideally marrying the father.

Keep writing.

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Stephanie M's avatar

I so love your writing. You nail notions that some might consider were they able to string their randomly organized thought salads into cohesive—and hilarious sentiments. I recognize many of my own chaotic, buried convictions after you articulate them thoroughly!!

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Shannon Thrace's avatar

This is one of the funniest things I've read in forever. Love <3

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appleton king's avatar

ok "Im Dancing as Fast As I Can II" is pretty much the straw that broke my funny bone here but to be honest i start cackling the second i hear your voice keep pace with the script of these outrageous pieces like a Derby contender morning lope , articles which are destined to be stored in a time capsule for future study of the evolution of human "cynical" tendencies of the 20th century.....i worry tho with the current world-wide political bi-curious shift towards authoritarianism and squelching of freedoms of expression let alone Modi-like ethnic cleansing on the down-low that this particular time capsule will nestle next to sealed concrete containers of nuclear waste buried miles beneath the Utah desert and marked with studious hieroglyphics which attempt to signal them as universally dangerous and unpalatable for all the generations to come. Your delight is radioactive and i for one welcome the exposure!

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Su Terry's avatar

Right there with you on the baby thing.

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MonaLott's avatar

Ha! I should send this to my father. At one point (before we became estranged over a number of long standing issues & his meddlesome 2nd wife's shitty behavior that went on for years), he flat out told me I was selfish for not giving him grandchildren, while I was visiting him (!!). Too floored to speak at the time, I filed it away for future use. Later on, I pulled that out and threw it right back at him. He did not like that. Too bad.

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klerkh's avatar

ROFL

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