23 Comments
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Mike Skolnick's avatar

I’m an ESL teacher in New York City and was recently told that I was being “terminated” for speaking Spanish in my English class. I said loudly “Hasta la vista baby and I’ll be back!” to my boss, who alerted the security guard.

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Cintra Wilson's avatar

Hahaha, I know, what a dickish thing to say!

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Chris Norris's avatar

While the world needs you as a writer, I submit that you are NOT untalented at non-writing gigs--as your DIY pharma rep Jäegermeister character demonstrates. (I wonder which clubs you worked at and if I might’ve ever seen you.) But thanks for the pro tip: avoid gigs whose key requirement is “pizzazz.”

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Cintra Wilson's avatar

I worked mainly at Townsend but also floated around to DV8, 1015 Folsom, all the bigger clubs.

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Devin Dearing's avatar

The specificity of this piece transported me to my series of crappy non-artist jobs that polluted my twenties! Ha. Why are there so many horrific ways to make money? Thank you!!!

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Cintra Wilson's avatar

Thanks for reading!

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Teófilo de Jesús's avatar

I’m not going to be as prolific as Jonathan Kieran on my comment. It’s just not in me. I’ll say: wild. Insane. Unique. Polar opposite of my experiences at 15 in 1980 which - own-horn-tootin’ - I’m drafting now. Thank you for sharing the stories.

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Chris Norris's avatar

Ok, I definitely went to DV8 and 1015 Folsom a couple of times. I’m sure you classed up the joints.

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Cintra Wilson's avatar

Oh, I was very much of a piece with the joints themselves. It was one big motorcycle-riding, death rock family at that point. I did have a metermaid cart though.

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Dr Pichello Heintz's avatar

What a marvelous essay. It was just so funny. You were on my favorite kind of writer, able to talk about the tragic with just such droll wit

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Cintra Wilson's avatar

Thank you Dr. Heintz!

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apdarrow's avatar

Hahahaaa, the cocaine employers! My cocaine employer story: it was a restaurant, the kind that keeps the condiments on the tables; I was a bartender (who, incidentally, salutes you on your brilliant Jagermeister ploy). One day the owner came in right before we opened and -- mottle-faced and shaking with rage -- screamed at the head waitress, "Those mustard jars are all TOO FULL! I want you to go around & take a tablespoon of mustard out of every. single. one. of them RIGHT NOW!!"

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Mo's avatar

I loved your Jager-boldness! This operation appears in my memoir as well. Love you Cinch.

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Cintra Wilson's avatar

I miss you Mo D! Call me baby!

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Chuck Guest's avatar

It seems every shitty job has its moment of bliss or triumph, even if it’s just exacting a modicum of revenge. When I was a UPS driver’s assistant, I was chased by various breeds of enraged canines the full length of rural Carmel Valley driveways every damn day with only clipboard-fu to save my brown jumpsuited ass. But I got to talk to Doris Day. Over her gate intercom. * psssht * “Leave it at the gate” * psssht * I figure I broke even.

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Norma Stitz's avatar

Nice piece, although if you were 15 when you worked at 7-11, and you gave away a six-pack when Lennon died (1980) that would make you born in 1965 not 1967 as stated on your Wiki page.

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Cintra Wilson's avatar

I was born on OCTOBER 9, 1967. You do the math. I probably was 16 and not 15. I worked at the 7-11 for a while.

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Jim Earp's avatar

I'm glad you were not shot, unlike one of my high school teachers when he was working at one over the summer. Poor guy didn't make it, a sad outcome of the sad fact that his days of shitty jobs had to continue after he became a credentialed public school teacher.

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Norma Stitz's avatar

I've done the math. At the point when Lennon died in December 1980 you were 13 years old.

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Cintra Wilson's avatar

Oh shit. OK, then, it was the anniversary of Lennon's death, but why the hell do you care so much?

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Norma Stitz's avatar

Because I love your writing. I have your books, and have read all of your Critical Shopper, Salon and NYRB pieces. That's why.

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Feb 15, 2023
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Cintra Wilson's avatar

Always good to get your viewpoint, Sir!

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Feb 15, 2023
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Cintra Wilson's avatar

I appreciate you!

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