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"...any women's high fashion magazine contains editorials that would be serviceable porn in any other decade" "tea cup dog jewelry" So many great observations and lines. This is the best writing about her she could hope to get.

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I hope to someday know the true identity of 'Ilka".

Until we meet and you can whisper it into my ear…

That 'major men’s magazine' fucked up. This is spot on and hilarious.

"Like any supermodel, Ilka is an evolutionary freak of nature — a radical, previously-unimaginable algorithmic breakthrough in flesh that renders previous flesh technologies obsolete."

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