A delight. Q: why are the shoes such a tell? Years ago, an addiction counselor relayed to me the experience of checking in with an outpatient who seemed maybe just slightly off. But when the counselor took one look at dude's sneakers, which he'd apparently spray-painted gold, he blurted out, "Tom, you're using!"
Was Amy Dresner in your orbit in those days? It seems like you two may have had some overlap in the SF Meth post Punk Bicycle Messenger Era. I too was self medicating with coke and speed in those lost years after HS. Later it was E laced with speed. Undiagnosed combination ADHD until age 55. Now I take Adderall legally and drink coffee like the fiend that I am. I hope you are well girlfriend ❤️
This is the thing about actually most amphetamines. The emerging psychosis isn’t perceived by the user. Near me was a man who held up his hand to stop a truck (after just 3 days on Benzedrine), and got away with a broken hip. Another guy I knew distantly stopped eating and just played pool until his skin was sagging and he collapsed. The destruction of health due to direct and indirect causes is so “bad for business “ that here, where I live in Montreal, the Hell’s gang ended meth as well as meth blend dealing. The police, as they are in most places are ineffective, but the Hell’s gave a single, very clear warning, which I was told was 100% effective. I gather that the Montreal mafias have now included “benzodope” in banned drugs. If you drive just two hours, you can see throngs of “dippers” bent over at the waist and waving about like spastic kelp forests. The “benzodope” blend of Chinese mixed horse benzos and fentanyl is actually worse than meth in health destruction (including permanent back injuries). Narcan will cancel the opiates but since the mixed benzodiazepines are not opiates and because they suppress breathing and swallowing, the emergency saviour drug is, …….amphetamines.
I am clearly older than Ms. Wilson and the commenters, but I recall some unpleasant dealings with folks in the Sixties who had mixed and matched grass and speed. Of course, God knows what we were getting from some random creep on the street. I heard a comic a few years ago (meaning "sometime in the last forty years") who posed the question: "If somebody offered you a casserole that was made by a hippie in his basement--would you eat it?" By the same logic, you probably shouldn't eat the same thing at a church potluck, or, for that matter, a grocery store, but it is telling. I remember a guy sitting up all night in the barracks actually afraid of a room full of wimps half his size because of the chemical souffle he had consumed earlier. A new wrinkle (at least to me) appeared when I was teaching required Humanities courses in community colleges in the Texas Panhandle. I complimented one of my students on her smile, which widened into a grin of perfect white teeth. "You don't keep your teeth when you use crystal meth." Brrrr.
The thing about the abortion festival is that it is absolutely impossible to tell if I am pro- or anti-abortion, which was sort of the point. Thanks Doctor Jerry!!
I really wish I did but this was eons before phones had cameras, and when you're on speed you don't actually own anything. Minimal Kitty was lost to some dumpster, at some point. But seriously, it looked just like Hello Kitty's head only with an eyepatch.
I'm sorry, I don't mean to be crude, but "FUCK YES!" Were the resounding words in my mind's ear as I finished reading this surprisingly triumphant essay.
"But there I was, the day of Dave’s concert, higher than a rabbit’s screaming voice, sitting on a picnic blanket in Union Square surrounded by multiple stretched out wire hangers with little pink plastic babies hanging off of the ends, covered in bloody red paint. I thought they were sort of festive, like sparklers or little flags, and I sat on the sidewalk waving them merrily."
"I felt like this was some kind of victory — I was more morally bankrupt than Morally Bankrupt!"
I love ‘higher than a rabbit’s screaming voice’. 😀
A delight. Q: why are the shoes such a tell? Years ago, an addiction counselor relayed to me the experience of checking in with an outpatient who seemed maybe just slightly off. But when the counselor took one look at dude's sneakers, which he'd apparently spray-painted gold, he blurted out, "Tom, you're using!"
Was Amy Dresner in your orbit in those days? It seems like you two may have had some overlap in the SF Meth post Punk Bicycle Messenger Era. I too was self medicating with coke and speed in those lost years after HS. Later it was E laced with speed. Undiagnosed combination ADHD until age 55. Now I take Adderall legally and drink coffee like the fiend that I am. I hope you are well girlfriend ❤️
I'm right with ya with the Adderall. I did not know miss Amy.
This is the thing about actually most amphetamines. The emerging psychosis isn’t perceived by the user. Near me was a man who held up his hand to stop a truck (after just 3 days on Benzedrine), and got away with a broken hip. Another guy I knew distantly stopped eating and just played pool until his skin was sagging and he collapsed. The destruction of health due to direct and indirect causes is so “bad for business “ that here, where I live in Montreal, the Hell’s gang ended meth as well as meth blend dealing. The police, as they are in most places are ineffective, but the Hell’s gave a single, very clear warning, which I was told was 100% effective. I gather that the Montreal mafias have now included “benzodope” in banned drugs. If you drive just two hours, you can see throngs of “dippers” bent over at the waist and waving about like spastic kelp forests. The “benzodope” blend of Chinese mixed horse benzos and fentanyl is actually worse than meth in health destruction (including permanent back injuries). Narcan will cancel the opiates but since the mixed benzodiazepines are not opiates and because they suppress breathing and swallowing, the emergency saviour drug is, …….amphetamines.
I love how you brought that full circle.
I am clearly older than Ms. Wilson and the commenters, but I recall some unpleasant dealings with folks in the Sixties who had mixed and matched grass and speed. Of course, God knows what we were getting from some random creep on the street. I heard a comic a few years ago (meaning "sometime in the last forty years") who posed the question: "If somebody offered you a casserole that was made by a hippie in his basement--would you eat it?" By the same logic, you probably shouldn't eat the same thing at a church potluck, or, for that matter, a grocery store, but it is telling. I remember a guy sitting up all night in the barracks actually afraid of a room full of wimps half his size because of the chemical souffle he had consumed earlier. A new wrinkle (at least to me) appeared when I was teaching required Humanities courses in community colleges in the Texas Panhandle. I complimented one of my students on her smile, which widened into a grin of perfect white teeth. "You don't keep your teeth when you use crystal meth." Brrrr.
It's true about the teeth. But we were all very young and our teeth were strong.
You took me back to my own speed days! What a rush!
You make me laugh. So fucking glad I found this corner of the internet! Only sad I missed Minimal Kitty IRL.
Thank you Ms. Birdsall! Lovely to have your readership.
Another fantastic entry. I hope you bring back the abortion festival. You were ahead of your time - with or without the bathtub crank...
The thing about the abortion festival is that it is absolutely impossible to tell if I am pro- or anti-abortion, which was sort of the point. Thanks Doctor Jerry!!
You had me at Minimal Kitty tarot cards
Hell, I want Minimal Kitty tarot cards NOW.
So you were in the Haight in the 90’s? Remember the Hotel Casa Loma. We might have met?? Hmm
I weren't no Casa Loma girl. They had a rep.
The Casa Loma was a hot mess, but fun that Hell On The Hell
I used to date one of the Broun Fellinis -- the sax player. The manager had a song he made up about Casa Loma girls, to wit:
Hey there Casa Looooma girl
Walking up the street, in your own world
Hey there Casa Loma girl
Won't you please give me a twirl
Cintra, I feel like I've seen Minimal Kitty??? Do you have pictures?
I really wish I did but this was eons before phones had cameras, and when you're on speed you don't actually own anything. Minimal Kitty was lost to some dumpster, at some point. But seriously, it looked just like Hello Kitty's head only with an eyepatch.
Actually, Dave did appreciate your piece. It affected him at least as profoundly as it did the German.
Thanks Peter T! So good seeing you in the Substacks!!
For 20+ years I’ve been teaching your JC Penny review as a perfect example of a polemic, surpassed only by Nietzche’s.
I hope somebody says that at my funeral.
I'm not sure if I knew Amy Dresner unless she went to Noh Club dressed in these crazy linen things she wrapped around herself.
I'm sorry, I don't mean to be crude, but "FUCK YES!" Were the resounding words in my mind's ear as I finished reading this surprisingly triumphant essay.
"But there I was, the day of Dave’s concert, higher than a rabbit’s screaming voice, sitting on a picnic blanket in Union Square surrounded by multiple stretched out wire hangers with little pink plastic babies hanging off of the ends, covered in bloody red paint. I thought they were sort of festive, like sparklers or little flags, and I sat on the sidewalk waving them merrily."
"I felt like this was some kind of victory — I was more morally bankrupt than Morally Bankrupt!"
I think Minimal Kitty needs a resurrection. Paint her and market that madness!
Lol of course it was a bent kraut who came out for bloody babes on sticks 😅