A Cintra Wilson deluxe adventure. And an impromptu makeover worthy of your own TV reality extravaganza. In Alabama, no less. Picture it: you and Dr. Julie cruising the outskirts of any and every American Twilight Zone and discovering desperates just waiting to be turned into Hot Mama debutantes. I’d watch the hell out that program, just for the box-cutter treatments alone. Wilson, you have led one hell of a life. Put this stuff in a memoir and sell the jiu-jitsu out of it. Another cool note: you mentioned Kevin Aucoin. I met him in 2000 in NYC. He had been brought in to do Sinead O’Connor’s makeup for her guest appearance on ‘The Queen Latifah Show’. She was promoting a big new comeback album for Atlantic Records at the time and I was in her posse. It was a low point for her personally—she’d been going through a manic phase due to the creative avalanche that had hit her (or vice versa?)—and was no bigger than a thistledown pixie. Wearing this wrinkled Pepto Bismol pink pantsuit that nooooooo one dared ask her to change for something more tele-flattering. But her face was still her ethereal face, without makeup. Aucoin made her look like a goddess who had just swooped down from Olympus. Even prickly Sinead loved it. Latifah was knocked out of her heels by the look. He was clearly gifted. Smashing vignette, X. This is why I love paying for Yer Substack Show. I’d still love to see you on your own TV gig, though. Hotties and Hash Browns: The Brunch Makeover.
"Women are so fucked…particularly in the South, where the Cinderella myth and the beauty industrial complex have hammered most women’s self-esteem unto a flat, bloody self-loathing." This and the Courtney Love call-back as well make someone who creeps regularly in winter over into Alabama from his Panhandle digs scant miles away wonder WHERE the hell you used to get karate-fighting drunk down here and WHY i couldn't have been present.....ohhh well seeing your name pop up in email and anticipating the sound of your voice is like hearing the re-assuring machinery of trucks dutifully plowing the roads outside after a blizzard
My GOD, I love everything you write. I want to run into you at some random restaurant and get fashion tips and a makeover! Sweet dreams are made of this ( you'll thank me for that ear worm which I just had to listen to) I'm a fan of pencil skirts, by the way. They work for my body type and vava voom!
I genuinely like you. You have a great vibe and carry yourself in an incredible manner. You genuinely live and not many people do that now.
I was going to say initially that you remind me a lot of Hunter Thompson in some ways. But truth be told, you reflect a whole different reality and experience then he was living.
Unless you're getting into shootouts with your contentious neighbor as well.
I'm on the fence about whether or not you would get into a shootout with a contentious neighbor. I feel I need to get to know you a little bit better determine that one.
I would have to go with the Paris Balloon Duel. It's snobby and archaic. Nothing says I love the woman who was sleeping with that other guy like going up in a hot air balloon and shooting at that particular gentleman's balloon with my blunderbuss. It made the papers last time someone did it.
Born in Gadsden. Family actually stopped there to give birth to me. At two months, they quickly moved me to Mexico City for a fashion upgrade. Loved your post!
A Cintra Wilson deluxe adventure. And an impromptu makeover worthy of your own TV reality extravaganza. In Alabama, no less. Picture it: you and Dr. Julie cruising the outskirts of any and every American Twilight Zone and discovering desperates just waiting to be turned into Hot Mama debutantes. I’d watch the hell out that program, just for the box-cutter treatments alone. Wilson, you have led one hell of a life. Put this stuff in a memoir and sell the jiu-jitsu out of it. Another cool note: you mentioned Kevin Aucoin. I met him in 2000 in NYC. He had been brought in to do Sinead O’Connor’s makeup for her guest appearance on ‘The Queen Latifah Show’. She was promoting a big new comeback album for Atlantic Records at the time and I was in her posse. It was a low point for her personally—she’d been going through a manic phase due to the creative avalanche that had hit her (or vice versa?)—and was no bigger than a thistledown pixie. Wearing this wrinkled Pepto Bismol pink pantsuit that nooooooo one dared ask her to change for something more tele-flattering. But her face was still her ethereal face, without makeup. Aucoin made her look like a goddess who had just swooped down from Olympus. Even prickly Sinead loved it. Latifah was knocked out of her heels by the look. He was clearly gifted. Smashing vignette, X. This is why I love paying for Yer Substack Show. I’d still love to see you on your own TV gig, though. Hotties and Hash Browns: The Brunch Makeover.
Drinking at Breakfast at Tiffany's
A good deed, indeed. 💙
Thank ye Bob-O-Fet
"Women are so fucked…particularly in the South, where the Cinderella myth and the beauty industrial complex have hammered most women’s self-esteem unto a flat, bloody self-loathing." This and the Courtney Love call-back as well make someone who creeps regularly in winter over into Alabama from his Panhandle digs scant miles away wonder WHERE the hell you used to get karate-fighting drunk down here and WHY i couldn't have been present.....ohhh well seeing your name pop up in email and anticipating the sound of your voice is like hearing the re-assuring machinery of trucks dutifully plowing the roads outside after a blizzard
Honk Honk!
hmmmm yeah no doubt my flattering imagery leaves something to be desired
ie "The Snowgoose Always Rings Twice" ?
My GOD, I love everything you write. I want to run into you at some random restaurant and get fashion tips and a makeover! Sweet dreams are made of this ( you'll thank me for that ear worm which I just had to listen to) I'm a fan of pencil skirts, by the way. They work for my body type and vava voom!
Not for nothing, but this spring I'm going to start doing that kind of thing for people for money.
I did it some in New York.
You should! I bet you are damn good at it!
“It’s a nice high, proving to people that they’re still cute”--this piece conveyed that so perfectly. Amazing!
Thank you darling Ms. Janine!!
ps. there's pretty clearly a movie in this particular episode--post-punk Steel Magnolias, Fried Green Tomatoes or some such.
I genuinely like you. You have a great vibe and carry yourself in an incredible manner. You genuinely live and not many people do that now.
I was going to say initially that you remind me a lot of Hunter Thompson in some ways. But truth be told, you reflect a whole different reality and experience then he was living.
Unless you're getting into shootouts with your contentious neighbor as well.
I'm on the fence about whether or not you would get into a shootout with a contentious neighbor. I feel I need to get to know you a little bit better determine that one.
Aww thanks Raj! A few years ago I would definitely have shot my neighbors but I am strictly anti-gun now, so I'd have to stab them.
I would have to go with the Paris Balloon Duel. It's snobby and archaic. Nothing says I love the woman who was sleeping with that other guy like going up in a hot air balloon and shooting at that particular gentleman's balloon with my blunderbuss. It made the papers last time someone did it.
Ooh, touché.
Excewllent art and essay !
Thanks Jim!
Born in Gadsden. Family actually stopped there to give birth to me. At two months, they quickly moved me to Mexico City for a fashion upgrade. Loved your post!
Nice. Remind me what’s in a Wet Reckless—is it gin and Robitussin or tequila and Robitussin?
Purell and Hawaiian Punch
Thank you !