The Dangers of 90’s Fitness
Ok Cintra, why aren't you writing some cool throw-back pulpy style novel set in present time. Or even better, a screen play. Rip out the first draft in a fortnight, and wrangle to final over a month of bad diner food and coffee. We'll get Guy Rithie to direct.
Ay caramba, the 90s. A few friends of mine were part of a world-champion ultimate frisbee team in those days (yes, the sport has a world championship), and I would come watch some of their tournament play. Most UF players are lean and lanky and very white, but there was a guy on one team my friends often played against who was always tan and looked like a young A. Schwarzenegger. At some point I brought him up in conversation with my UF pals and they just said "oh he takes steroids." And you could just look at the guy and not help think "that is *not* going to go well for you, some day, friend."
Good stuff cheap. One step from this to Madame Botox and her kids just "delaying" puberty a little... until it's "safe". --- What could happen?
Fantastic. I remember a gym in San Francisco where the showers were made of backlit frosted glass facing the open stairwell... one could never rinse properly, so I gave up fitness altogether.
The Gym Murders piece was fucking amazing. (I swear a lot, so...). So evocative of that time. I remember my high school health teacher from sophomore year (big, burly dude with a Billy Ray Cyrus-esque mullet, MC Hammer-ish pants, with a jacket that nipped in at the waist. Hard to describe but surely image search will yield something. It was 1992 after all), and there was a whole section on steroid abuse. What do I remember, 30 years later, from said unit? The teacher mentioned "bitch tits" and "BB nuts" as side effects of said abuse, in men. Honest to Oprah, we in the class were slack jawed and laughing hysterically at the same time, if that's possible.
So thank you for that trip down a completely forgotten street of my memory.
I am happy to share I blessed my mother with your magnificent story whilst we were making Thanksgiving pies. This will now become a holiday tradition! Much luv to you and the family.
I’m trying to think of a young, broygus Method acolyte who could play you—no luftmensch like Jessica Chastain—but once Marlon and Kylie are cast and negotiations commence with the soy sauce people, we’d like a script for the pilot within 48 hrs. If Chris Meloni agrees to an SVU crossover guest spot, there’s no way this mishegoss won’t go to series, bubeleh.